You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
