You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
