we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
