And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
