everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
