i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
