I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I am mentally ready for anal.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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