the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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