we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He passed out mid-signature
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
