Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
