yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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