i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Couch. On fire.
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