Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
