That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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