I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
