Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
