there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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