don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she told me i tasted like america
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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