i just wanna soil my oats bro
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
