Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
