He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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