i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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