i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have aggressive nipples.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
