Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
