Where did you get a picture of my penis
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
