Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
