you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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