I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
