While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
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