never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
