I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I look better un-naked...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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