Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
