NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She needs sedatives and a leash
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
