Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
