She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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