areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
