I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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