I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
