I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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