We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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