Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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