the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
