Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
