i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
