There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
