Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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