question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
