i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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