meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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