Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
