I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
