she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
