if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize